amy

       I did it. I finished chemotherapy. And so far, my side effects from Taxol have not been as bad as they were with Adriamycin. I felt very tired after infusion yesterday but seeing my friends gather for my bell ringing brought me a lot of energy. And today, the day after infusion, I’m feeling good! The main side effect I’ve had from Taxol is bone pain. I’m very much looking forward to my “No Mo Chemo” party that I’m planning for next weekend.      Yesterday was a long day at the West Cancer Center. I arrived at 7am and did not leave my infusion chair until 3:30. 7 rounds of chemotherapy have taken their toll on my veins. They had a hard time getting my IV in yesterday so that started the day off rough. They ended up putting the IV in a vein in my forearm. Knowing it was my last chemo definitely gave me some extra strength to endure.      This week was long and both physically and emotionally draining. I was at the doctors four dif...

                                       Today was my seventh chemo! Which means I only have one more as long as everything goes according to plan. I am overjoyed at the thought of just one more chemo. Lately I have been noticing the cumulative effects of chemo (being tired all the time, not feeling great most of the time) and am looking forward to the day when I have more energy and feel well.      Today’s chemo was my first infusion of Taxol. I finished Adriamycin the last round and my final two infusions are Taxol. My treatments are still every other week so my final treatment is two weeks from today! This morning I was not feeling great before I even started chemo. My tolerance for the cold cap and the frozen gloves and socks has gone down. And, the Taxol infusion is 3 hours long, compared to the 10 minute infusion of Adriamycin. Not only was I physically not feeling the...

     Lately the thought of chemo has been making me nauseous. So I haven’t wanted to write this post. Several times in the past few days I have tried to intentionally think of other things that make me happy so as not to think about chemo and feel nauseous. Any thoughts having to do with chemo, or the West Cancer Clinic, make me feel a bit nauseous. The smell of the West Cancer Clinic, the thought of how I feel when they flush my IV, everything about the process of receiving chemotherapy. My nausea and the things that make me feel nauseous has definitely gotten worse the more chemo I receive.      One upside to chemo round 6 was the fact that I was only at the center for about 4 hours. I only received Adriamycin so it was one of my shortest chemo appointments.      2 more treatments to go! I’m praying I don’t feel nauseous while receiving the last 2 treatments like I did during round 6.

       I’m thinking about how hope and watching go hand in hand, thanks to Prayer in the Night . Hope is anticipating a future that is better than the present. It means to wait for. There is tension and expectation while you wait. It is not a passive waiting because watching is involved. Hope is waiting in expectation for God (Psalm 130:5-7). And, ultimately, this hope comes from the risen Christ and remembering that our ultimate hope isn’t in this earthly life. My ultimate hope lies in the fact that Jesus rose from the dead and is working to restore and redeem everything that is broken. Not only am I waiting and watching for the day when all things will be made new, I am also waiting and watching for glimpses of healing and restoration here and now. Hope and suffering are so interconnected. Hope requires patience. Romans 8:18-39      How do hope and watching go hand in hand? How is being hopeful active and not passive? It is watching for grace in the ...

     Friday, April 15 was my fifth round of chemo. I hate chemo. I hate that just thinking about chemo makes me nauseous. But, in some ways I’m thankful for chemo because, per ultrasound and mammogram on March 28, my tumors are shrinking. I was thankful to hear that chemo wasn’t just making me feel sick but that it was doing its job to shrink the tumors.      One positive about chemo round 5 was having my brother with me. He has come with me to the past 3 chemos and I’m so thankful.      Same routine as usual when we got to the cancer clinic – I went for bloodwork and to have my IV put in. Having an IV has not gotten easier for me. It still hurts and I dread it every time. But, I’m thankful my veins have held up and I haven’t needed a port.      This was my shortest chemo yet. We were at the clinic for about four hours. After chemo, we got food from a food truck outside, got smoothies from smoothie king, and went on a nice l...

Here are some lost & found from my past week. -i lost 7 days of living without feeling poorly -i found 7 days that i woke up with breath in my lungs -i lost my taste for foods i normally enjoy -i found i still enjoy berries and juice and chips and salsa -i lost an entire saturday to sleep -i found an entire saturday with no nausea because i was asleep -i found multiple slow walks with people -i found a deeper appreciation for all the natural light my house gets and the plants that thrive because of it

       I had round 4 of chemotherapy on Friday. I’m thankful to be alert enough to write this post now. Honestly, the thought of chemo makes me nauseous now. I’ve been staying on top of the meds this time so I’m praying the nausea doesn’t stay around as long this time. I guess I’ve had enough chemo treatments now to be at the point where just the thought of it makes me nauseous. I didn’t expect to get to the point of having certain memories of experiences make me nauseous.      My brother came with me to my fourth round of chemo. I had labs at 7:30 and they called me back for infusion around 8:35. Getting poked and having an IV put in has still not gotten easier for me. I am thankful that my veins have stayed strong and I haven’t had to have a port put in. I’m praying that continues to be the case for my last four treatments.      Rewind update: On Monday, March 28 I had an appointment with my surgeon. I had a mammogram and an ultrasou...