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Rambling Reflections

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     Today is the 2-year anniversary of me finishing chemotherapy and ringing the bell on the terrace of West Cancer Clinic in Memphis, TN. Time is a funny thing. On one hand, the day feels like a lifetime ago. On the other hand, receiving chemotherapy infusions feels all too familiar. Either way, today is a day of reflection, gratitude, and celebration.      This morning I woke up knowing that I wanted to reflect on this day but unsure as to how. I sat down in my green, velvet ikea chair for my quiet time. I read back through journals about what this day was like one year ago and two years ago. I looked back through my camera roll to see what this day was like one, two, three, four, five, even six years ago. I started listening to a week old sermon from my church that I missed. Then some threads of reflection came to me.      On my camera roll two years ago today, the day I rang the bell, I screenshot a picture I had taken on November 19, 2020 at 8:42pm. The picture is shown above,
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Life as a Cancer Survivor in 2023

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       Hi everyone! I thought I’d write an update blog post since I haven’t posted in half a year. The sad news is that life as a cancer survivor is not like my life pre- diagnosis. The happy news is that my most recent scans showed no evidence of disease!      2023 has not been as smooth sailing health wise as I had hoped or expected. The biggest scare of this year was in February 2023 when I mentioned a bump I felt above my implant to my plastic surgeon. She suggested I get an ultrasound “just to be safe”. I now hate those words. Don’t get me wrong – I am grateful I went for an ultrasound “to be safe” and we found my cancer when we did. But I’m not reassured when people tell me “it’s probably nothing and they’re just being cautious.”      Praise God the biopsy in February turned out to be clear. It was just scar tissue. Since February, I’ve had some big life updates. I got a job in Boston and decided to move from Memphis. It is definitely bittersweet.      It was strange going to
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Reflections from December 22, 2021 Amy

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     This advent season has looked much different for me than last year. I’m glad that I journaled last year to be able to go back and look at what I was thinking and feeling. Honestly, much of my journal reflections from last year have been an encouragement to me. I try to read journal entries from a year ago each day. It is a reminder of God’s faithfulness to me and brings me hope. A lot can happen in a year. Last year was full of many lows. But I see God’s faithfulness to me in the people who came around and supported me, in my health and healing, and in my ability to have hope.  A year ago on this day I journaled about a quote I saw on Instagram: “The days only get brighter from here”. It was meant to be a hopeful post – a post about the winter solstice. However, when I read this post a year ago today after I had recently gotten diagnosed with cancer, it was hard for me to read. My world was dark with this diagnosis and I knew dark days full of treatment, surgeries, side effects,
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What’s Next? Anastrozole, Fragility, and Awkward Interactions

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  Me and my carrot tart from Thanksgiving Anastrozole      Unfortunately, finishing active treatment and being cancer free doesn’t mean your life goes back to the way it was before being diagnosed with cancer. I still have a few doctor’s appointments a month. I’m very thankful to not be planning my life around chemo infusions or radiation treatments but there’s also a scary side to being done with active treatment and being cancer free. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about a recurrence.      So now, I attempt to do what’s in my control to prevent recurrence. One thing I’m doing to prevent recurrence is taking anastrozole. Because my cancer was ER/PR+ (this means my cancer was hormonal), I am now on hormone therapy. Anastrozole suppresses my hormones so I have no hormones to feed cancer.      I take anastrozole every day at the same time. I’m thankful there is a pill I can take to work at preventing recurrence. Unfortunately, hormone suppression means my body will be in chemic
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Hair Journey Post-Chemotherapy

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    I’ve been looking back at pictures of my hair growth from the past four months and am so thankful my hair is growing! One of my fears while going through chemo was that my hair would not grow back.      Several people have asked me if cold capping “worked”. I think that all depends on how you define “worked”. If you define it as not losing your hair, then it did not work for me. If you define it as your hair growing back in fairly quickly and thick, it did work. I’m so thankful for the hair on my head and do think the painful experience of cold capping was worth it for me. Hair growth post-chemo is different for everyone but here is what it has looked like for me: 8 weeks post-chemo: Enough hair for a buzzcut! And eyebrows and eyelashes starting to grow back! 13 weeks post-chemo: Enough hair for little frizz and spikes! 15 weeks post-chemo: Hair that you can move your fingers through! 16 weeks post-chemo: Enough hair to create a part. Now combing my hair to assist with shape.
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Cancer Free

     As of Wednesday, October 5, 2022 I am technically considered cancer free. Honestly, finishing radiation and being able to say I am cancer free feels kind of anticlimactic. They don’t do any end of treatment scans to ensure I am cancer free so it’s hard for me not to let my mind wander and worry that there is still cancer in my body. But, I have to trust my doctors when they tell me that all the treatment I have gone through has rid my body of the cancer they found almost a year ago.      The day I finished radiation was a “normal” Wednesday. I woke up at 5:30am, showered, made coffee, picked up my friend/mentor, and drove to the West Cancer Center (just as I had done almost every morning for the past 7 weeks). What was different about this morning was me bringing my friend/mentor and it being the last day I had to lay on the table and receive radiation.      It’s wild for me to think about all that has happened in the past 10 months. I have received 8 rounds of chemotherapy, a
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Radiation Sessions 28-30

*I wrote this entry and forgot to post it! Here is a late entry. As of 10/5, I finished radiation!      I have THREE more radiation sessions! I am very ready to be done with radiation. I’m ready to not have to wake up early and drive to the West Cancer Center everyday. I’m ready for my skin to heal and not be burnt and peeling. I’m ready to have my energy back and not be tired all the time.      Thankfully, these last five sessions are called boosts and I am only receiving radiation in a very targeted area. Before I started treatment, I got three small dot tattoos so they can line me up correctly for radiation each day. In addition to the tattoos, they also place a sticker on me to help with alignment. For my boost sessions they placed three stickers on me and told me to do my very best to keep them on for the last five sessions. This is actually quite hard. Especially when your friends are having a pool party. I’m planning to not swim at the pool party tomorrow because I am sure that
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