Chemo #1

                                                  

    I arrived for my first Chemotherapy appointment at 7:15am Thursday, February 3. From start to finish, I woke up at 6am and went to bed around 10pm. My Mom came with me. I am so thankful because I cannot imagine going alone. It was an exciting start to my chemo treatments as Memphis had an ice storm that day. When we arrived, I went to the second floor for labs and then up to the third floor for my chemo infusion. There was a good bit of waiting in between my labs and my infusion. During this time, I responded to several texts from my loving friends and family. Although I was the youngest person there, I did not feel alone. I had my mom physically with me and so many people reaching out to let me know they were thinking of me and praying for me.


    On the way to my appointment, I had mixed feelings. On one hand, I hated the fact that I even had to be going to this appointment. I felt scared because I had no idea how my body would react to the drugs. I felt nervous because this was the first step in my immune system beginning to get weaker. I felt like from this day on, how I felt physically was going to be so unpredictable. On the other hand, I felt excited because it was my first day of treatment. Everything up until this point has felt more diagnostic. All my appointments so far have been appointments to see what was going on and what kind of treatment I needed. This was the first appointment that felt like the targeted healing journey was beginning.


    Overall, the infusion process went smoothly. I didn’t have any severe reactions. The worst parts were the headache from the cold cap and my freezing hands and feet from wearing frozen gloves and socks. Also the time commitment. I was at the clinic for almost 8 hours. 6 of those hours I was wearing the cold cap on my head. Snow days off school should be spent with friends, going on walks, or cuddled up with a movie or book. So there were several things I didn’t love about my first treatment. But, there were many unexpected beauties throughout the day. So many beauties that the lows of treatment don’t feel quite as low. The pains and lows of yesterday have been overshadowed by all the warmth I have felt through love and support.


    Even as I am writing this I am thinking about my sun necklace that was given to me by my grandparents. Yesterday at treatment was an emotionally and physically dark, cloudy day. But all of the unexpected beauties are like the sun bursting through the dark clouds. Not only does the sun bring light but it also brings warmth. The love and support I have received from other people has brought me light and warmth in the midst of dark clouds.


    When treatment was over, I mainly just felt tired. As we left the clinic, we entered into a frozen winter wonderland. Trees were covered in ice. We had to stop by two CVS pharmacies to pick up medicine for nausea. I was craving a smoothie but one of my favorite smoothie places was closed because of the storm. We went home and I went on a walk in the winter wonderland. I felt like I could have crashed on the couch but I wanted to get out to see if a walk would help keep my energy up. The rest of the evening I felt completely fine.


    This morning, February 4, I woke up to a cold house. My power went out during the night. Thankfully, I had a friend’s house where my Mom and I could go stay. We packed up what we needed from my place and headed to a warm house. As soon as I got in the car and turned on my heated seat, I could not keep my eyes open. I fell asleep while my Mom drove us to warmth. I slept the entire drive and slept on the couch as soon as we got to the house. I slept until 6pm. I think sleep is one of the best medicines.


    So there’s a synopsis of my first chemo treatment. It has been a combination of highs and lows. With all the things to be grateful for, it was also heartbreaking. One of my biggest prayers was that the chemo would do what it needs to do to heal my body. I am so thankful for all the support I have received but I am also heartbroken that I have to go through this.

With the heartbreak also comes the joy. My day was full of many wonderful surprises.

Also, enjoy this picture of me feeling like Carl from Up while wearing my cold cap. 

Adventure is out there!