A life-altering phone call

    On Tuesday, December 7, 2021 I got a phone call with news that would change my life forever. It was surreal. Here I was sitting at my desk in my classroom, on my lunch break, in the middle of a perfectly “normal” day. I was waiting to hear back from the nurse regarding my biopsy results from the previous Thursday. She had called me the day before, December 6, while I was in a dentist appointment and never picked up when I called back 20 times after getting out of the appointment. I was eager to hear the news that all was well. I believed all was well. I believed the ultrasounds, mammograms, and biopsies were all done out of an abundance of caution. I believed so strongly that all was well that I decided to call the nurse on my lunch break. She told me the news:

 

“All three biopsies came back positive for breast cancer”.

    I couldn’t believe it. After hearing those words, I was in this weird state of disbelief. I was also, honestly, trying not to feel the weight of it because I had already left school early several times for appointments and I didn’t want my students to miss another math lesson. I wanted to ignore reality and keep living my life as “normal” as possible.

    As soon as I got off the phone, I was pushing back tears and trying to keep my mind on work. I thought I could do it. Then my coworker walked in my classroom and started talking about her morning. I don’t really remember what she said but as soon as she asked if I was okay, I melted. Praise God for coworkers who tell you to leave school and that they’ll take care of your students.

    On Monday, December 13, 2021 I met with my surgeon. This was the appointment where he would announce the detailed results of my biopsy and discuss next steps. Thankfully, my amazing brother-in-law and sister flew to Memphis a few days before so my brother-in-law could come with me to the appointment. With him being a doctor, he was able to really take in the information and ask questions while I did my best to sit there and take in the information.

    At all of my appointments thus far (ultrasounds, mammograms, biopsy, meeting with surgeon), I have been the youngest person in the waiting room. Looking around and seeing much older women, my 26 year old self did not understand why I was there. I truly felt like I did not belong. And I did not want to belong.

    But in these moments of disbelief, sadness, anger, and confusion, there are also feelings of gratitude and thankfulness. I was so grateful to not be at the appointment alone. I was grateful for the many people who had reached out through phone calls or texts to let me know I was not alone in this journey.